18 More Weeks, Then in My Arms

There is a new little person in our lives. We are exhilarated and full of joy. We can't wait to have this little one in our arms and trace the outline of those precious, wrinkled toes. Even so, I can't help but wonder, "Am I ready to parent?"

Leading young seems an unprecedented experiment. There is no training that can prepare you to lead a child. Both of us had wonderful examples to imitate in our lives. But, it takes strength and trust far beyond our own. I pray to God that I would be able to provide wisdom, power, and protection far beyond myself. I pray that I would be able to do my job to discipline, teach, nurture, and "train up a child in the way he should go" knowing that when he is old "he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

Parenting brings the greatest of joys and fulfillment. It brings feelings of success when things are going right. But nothing can feel more depleting than when things are going wrong.

It takes grace which I'm still working on accepting, and a humble heart which I am still striving to achieve. I've already learned I should not force my own will on this child in prayer. The prayers we all utter sometimes. You know the one I mean. It sounds something like this: "Lord, I pray that this child would grow up in faith with a deep understanding of who You are" (then I could feel better about myself).

"I pray it would be perfectly knit and woven together in my womb" (everything must be perfect).

"I pray that this child will have a fruitful life and find love" (my best friends would make great in-laws).

We may never actually utter the words in parentheses, but they are there, subtly inspiring us to impose our will in God's ear. A more effective prayer would be: "Lord, show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him or her in Your way, and may Your will be done in their life."

Already, I have recognized the hand of God interceding in my child's life. Seeing this little one on the screen of the sonogram revealed many answered prayers and abundant blessings. We are thankful to have seen and heard a strong heartbeat. We saw working organs, eyes and ears. We saw an already developed and active personality. We believe that God has placed a hedge of protection around me at this time so I can provide a safe and cozy environment for this child. We are so thankful that I have felt great and been able to work steadily.

I may not fully understand yet the immense love that I will feel for this child when I get to hold it in my arms. But, I know that this child has a Heavenly Father that cares even more deeply than I about their eternal future.

Pour out your heart like water

before the face of the Lord.

Lift your hands toward Him for the

life of your young children.

~Lamentations 2:19~

- ♥ - Sonya