If I Could Keep you Little

Dear Isaac;

I can feel your breath on my skin, your head nestled in the bend of my elbow, and your cute bum tucked in my right hand. Your legs, all cozy in your blue and white striped footy PJ's, and they're draped over my lap. When did you ever get so big? Slow down a bit, pretty please. ~ xxoo Mommy

.....

Some of you will think this is crazy and some of you will find this normal. But, I was parted from him for the first time the other day. It felt so strange to be more than 100 feet away from him when he has gone everywhere I have gone in the last 4 months. I felt this tug to get back as soon as I could. Fearing that he needed me or would have separation anxiety. It's nice to feel needed. Meanwhile, I knew that he was surrounded by love. I whizzed through my errands as fast as I could. For, I was the one with separation anxiety. And he was once within me, my flesh and blood. And, since entering this crazy broken world, the distance between us has never been more than half a football field away. I recalled reading about a Mbuti Pygmy tribe and their custom for mother and newborn. It is not until the third day after the birth of her child that mother and babe leave their womb shaped leaf hut. During those three days she rocks and sings to her baby as she did while he was still in her womb. She might sit close to the doorway so he can slowly adjust to the bright light of his new world. And, I think on the adjustment it was for me to move him to his own room. And, I wonder how we will handle it when I go back to work, or when he steps on the school bus for the first time, when he gets his drivers license, and when he goes off to university. I know all of these experiences will be hard, but as he grows, he is going to need to find his own way. He can know, though, that his parents will always be there for him. We will never be far away.

.....

It's a tumultuous world we live in where the weakest don't have a voice and the hunger for wealth seems to trump all else. And, this new mama is trying hard not to worry but to trust and to be content in every circumstance. How now do I live for God when I'm now living for my son and family? I think on the story of the Isaac of the Bible. Isaac was the promised son to Abraham and Sarah in their old age. His name means laughter. God commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. And, Abraham, trusted so much in the Lord that he was about to give Isaac as a sacrifice knowing that God would really never ask that of him. And right at the last moment, a ram was provided to take Isaac's place as the sacrifice. And I'm sure I couldn't do what Abraham did, especially if I had a hard time leaving him for 15 minutes. I would tell God "No, sorry God, but I don't have the strength to. I would give anything, everything I own, my air, but not that." And, in doing so, I'd be saying "God, You're not worth it. You are not number one in my life. My family takes priority over you."

.....

I want to make my God the first priority in my life. But, now that I'm a mama I can see God falling by the wayside. Instead of saying "It's all about Him" now, I find myself saying "It's all about the other him in my life, my son." I have two lights of my life and I struggle to give priority to the great I Am. And, the God who knows my inmost, knows me by name, knows the number of hairs on my head, has slipped even farther down the priority list. How do I reverse this? How do I pay special attention to following Christ while being a mother? So,I  pray for my son just as much as I do for myself. That I may love You, God, first and then my family. Because, that way I can only love them more. Because God is love and you cannot experience the fullness of love if you have not loved God. I pray that all my actions and words no matter how menial may be a reflection of that love. That in the grunge and grime of every day I may be thankful because my family is clothed and fed and warm and sheltered and loved. That even the most mundane of tasks can be done with my heart trained on God.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men." Colossians 3:23

And, that revelation gets me through. I know that loving God first is a powerful witness to not only my son, but to those around me.

.....

And, when I can't be by my son's side, I pray that You, God, may wrap your loving arms around him, that he may have the peace of Christ with him and come to know the love of his Heavenly Father. That he may feel grounded in faith that it brings him home even when he is not home. And, this is my prayer for all children. That they may feel surrounded by love, a love that takes them home, even if they don't have a home.

.....

Yes, Jesus "Wubs" Me and We "Wubs" him too!

Isaac 3 1/2 months - hanging out with Dad at lunch time

Isaac 3 1/2 months - does not usually like tummy time but is getting there!

This book really spoke to my heart. "If I could keep you little I'd keep you close to me, but then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be."

Just when I think that I'm getting my groove thang down - I learn something new. Some of the best advice I've received - Babies change so fast, so hold on to them a little longer and forget about your messy house!

Best Year

The beauty of Spring buds and blooms remind us of God's grace

We see the miracle of life

Exciting news for our family! We expected our first child

We took a break from Winter and went to Roatan

The beautiful resort

Tim tries out zip-lining

Spending time in devotions

We set up a nursary

Lifting Holy Hands to praise and worship our God

All Ontario Youth Convention and the Brett Younker Band

We get new wheels

Spring and 25 weeks!

Good Times with Good Friends

Our Friends - Joanne and Robby get married

Beautiful days on the Farm

My garden growing well despite the lack of rain

My Bestie and I at a Wedding

Lovely June day. After a dry period, we get some rain.

Amazing June sunrises remind us of God's mercies new every morning

Weekend Camping in Berkeley - All 19 adults and 15 kids (+2 on the way)

Tim turns 30

We do some exploring by kayak

Garden Blessings

Feeling little kicks at 38 weeks pregnant

My girlfriends out for a weekend getaway to Niagara Falls

These ladies always have a blast together

Good times in Summer - walking in Stratford and going to see many plays

Attending to the coming one - Taken on the baby's due date

We welcome our first child

We welcome our son, born at home, Sept. 23rd

Sweet moments captured when Isaac was just new

Life is so precious

Matron of Honour for my Bestie, Jamie's, wedding. Isaac is 2 weeks old.

Heather Dietz Photography captured tender moments with Isaac at 2 weeks

Our beautiful baby boy, Isaac, at 2 weeks old. Heather Dietz Photography

Sweet cuddles, Heather Dietz Photography

Tim becomes a father - and a very good one! We enjoy having him in for breakfast every day!

Late nights with my little man

My amazing girlfriends know how to put together a baby shower! Isaac is blessed to have such loving people in his life

Isaac's baptism day

Baby's first Christmas!

 What an incredible year it has been. God has blessed us in so many ways. We can't wait to see what 2013 has in store. God is good - all the time.

Glory to God in the highest. Luke 2:14

God's Coffee

This past weekend in our church bulletin was this little devo. I loved it and wanted to share.
It reminds us to:

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God. 

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.  Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups-porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite-telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:  "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.   While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.  What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups.  And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup,
we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups. Enjoy your coffee!  

 

I try my best to live my life this way - honouring God, and being thankful for what I have. When it's all been said and done, all that really matters is whether you did your best to live for truth. But, to make God my number one priority is something I really struggle with. I find that I place value on so many earthly desires and forget that they really belong to God. And, by His mercy, He has given them to me. Now, being a new mom, I find I put more value on my family than on my God, forgetting that He has placed these people in my life as a blessing to me. And, when things are not going my way, I find I lean into my husband and loved ones more than casting my worries to God and trusting in His good and perfect will. When it's all been said and done, all my earthly treasures will mean nothing. Only what I have done and how I love will stand the test of time.

Pray with me that we can all do our best to live for truth.

- ♥ - Sonya