Egg Shaker + Cup + Isaac = Cute

How could I resist sharing this adorableness. He finds himself quite amusing, doesn't he? Well, you already know I am willing to do anything to hear his giggles. Now, I get to watch him making himself laugh and I love it!

Mothering... What I underestimated

{My Child}

"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him" 1 Samuel 1:27

You think you know what love is. But there is no greater love than the love for your child.

People told me when I was expecting, that life will be forever changed and that you will never love anything more than you love your child. After the initial "How far along are you?" And, "Get all the sleep you can now" many people would offer their genuine words of wisdom. I also read many books. Some made it seem like there is only one way to care for your baby. After a while, you start to dismiss the advice and wonder what are you getting yourself into?

The truth is you can never be fully prepared for becoming parents and every baby is different. Some are constant criers, some are great sleepers by 2 months, some love their pacifier, others won't take a binky or bottle. Who knows why babies are the way they are? 

In lieu of mothering now for over one year and feeling confident in my abilities as a Mom, I thought I would share some of the things that have been useful to me, myself, and Isaac, as well as some of the things that I underestimated. As with all parenting advice, take this with a grain of salt. No one knows your child better than you, not even the baby whisperer herself, no matter what she says in her books.

1. You will do anything for your child. And with every sweet breath they take you will fall more in love with their tiny body and giant spirit. You will become an absolute puddle over milestones like smiles, and rolling over. Your world suddenly does not revolve around you. You become preoccupied with little things like how many wet ones and poos there have been in a day and if the temperature of the bath water is just right for you new little one.

2. As a mom, you become more keenly aware of worldly values creeping in to your home. You will want to preserve what is innocent and pure and keep your child from things that can be diminishing to your soul. You want your child to experience new things that are uplifting to the soul and grow to be an individual with an open mind. You will want to ease him into the world as you ease yourself into the light of a new day.

3. Your Friday nights will become distantly different. Gone are the days of catching a movie or going out for dinner (at least for a while). The highlight of our Friday night's now are bathing baby, snuggling up with a few Bible stories and tucking little Isaac into dreamland for the night. After picking up from the daily dire, you might just have enough time to snuggle on the couch with your husband before going off into your own dreamland. Oh how times have changed. But, you wouldn't change it for the world.

4. You have a new appreciation for your own mother because you can now relate to her as a fellow Mom. You can now understand that just about everything she did, she did for her children. Your own children will never really understand just how much you love them until they have their own children as well.

5. You will do whatever it takes to hear your child's sweet laughter. And, it doesn't matter how silly you look doing it, you will keep on doing it just to hear the best sound in the world, a child's laughter.

6. Your body will become a softer version of itself before pregnancy. Again, it's SO worth it! Wear your new flab with confidence! And, don't worry if it doesn't go away after a year or if it never goes away at all. You grew another human being inside of you which is nothing short of miraculous. Reclaim your confidence by being proud of what you did. Besides, most other new mothers are too busy taking care of their child or worrying about their own figure to be looking at yours.

7. You will need support from your partner, family, friends, other moms. Try to give yourself some alone time each day, even if just half an hour. Try to get out and talk with other moms regularly. And try to breath some fresh air each day. In Isaac's earlier days, I found it quite easy to stay indoors for days in a row. But, cabin fever hits you and you discover that getting out for a little while each day is best.You will also need people caring for your nutritional needs in the early days of mothering. We were so blessed to have family, friends and neighbours drop off food and flowers. Looking back, I don't know what I would have done without them. Yes, in the nesting stages, I baked and froze a lot of casseroles, but I am so grateful for the extra food that came in.

8. There are a host of gadgets and new contraptions for babies and moms, promising to make life easier and simpler for you and your little one. As my own mother likes to say "How ever did we survive?" The gadgets that promise to make life easier for you and your baby will be added to your junk drawer collection. You may even go through your junk drawer a year later and say "What is this thing and why did I think it would be useful?" In the end it becomes clutter, which is actually making life less simple. Keep life much simpler by really discerning what you need and reducing the amount of new baby/mommy inventions you bring into your home. What your baby needs most is feeling loved and secure which does not come in the form of any new baby gadget and does not cost a penny!

9. Here are some of the survival tools we did find useful:
 - A Carrier to wear your baby. I have the Bjorn and Moby and I love them both!
 - Places to put your baby when you can't wear or carry them - playpen, bumbo, bouncer, cradle,
   excersaucer, jolly jumper. Borrowing these things is even better!
 - Stroller. I have a middle of the road one - it's a Phil and Ted's Classic. It's a jogger stroller. Not the
   most expensive, not the least expensive. But, I like that it allowed me to put my Maxi-Cosi carseat
   into it and it came with the attachment for another toddler seat.
 - Diapers. Of course these are needed unless you are practicing Elimination Communication - a
   hilarious way of saying infant potty training. We use cloth diapers and these are the brands that
   work for us: gdiapers, Awesome Blossom, Bummis.
 - Invisible Dog Fence. This sounds terrible. I love my dog I just couldn't stand cleaning up after him
   after Isaac was born (Remmy sheds a lot and tracks mud in the house). He's our big indoor, outdoor
   German Shepherd. I also didn't have the ability to take him for walks as often. He began hanging
   out at the end of the laneway as chasing cars can be fun. So, it was time to allow him more freedom
   outside without the risk of being hit by a car. He has about 4 acres of land to roam around and gets
   walked on nice days when I have time.
- If you breastfeed, a nursing cover and nursing bras. Thyme Maternity has great comfy ones! I'll tell
  you more about my nursing experience in a later post.
- Sippy cups that don't break when they inevitably get thrown from the highchair, stroller, car
  window ... I can't emphasize enough here that you don't need a fancy sippy cup! Less is more! I like
  the Playtex ones or stainless steel ones.
- Books for you and baby. In the early days, you will have time to read while nursing or feeding your
  baby. Might as well have a few good reads on hand. I did a lot of reading during this time. Maybe
  even too much reading of the "baby advice" type of book. I began worrying if I was doing things
  "right."
- Zwitsal - this product was the only one that worked (for Isaac) for cradle cap (dry scalp) which is
  very common for babies. My friend gave it to me and later I found it in our local Dutch store.
  Coconut oil also has quite the healing properties and is great for relaxing baby after a bath.
 - If you plan on making your own baby food, you don't need much. Just a regular ice cube tray,
   regular blender/hand blender and zip-lock bags. No fancy gadgets and storage containers here. It
   seems like a time consuming job, but really if you're making a meal for yourself just throw an
   extra unseasoned portion in and pulverize it after. It doesn't take a lot of extra time and you'd be
   surprised how many ice cubes you get out of one chicken breast mixed with beans or sweet potato.
   When they are first trying foods, they only eat one or two thawed ice cubes, so it goes a long way.

10. You begin to see all children, young and old, as someone else's baby. Having a child gives you glimpses of what our Heavenly Father sees when He looks as us. There is nothing that my son could ever do, that would make me disown him. Just as there is nothing that can separate us from the love of our Heavenly Father. Even those who do not know Him are loved by Him.

11. Going back to work. It was something I was not looking forward to. As the date approached I was still questioning whether it was the best decision for our family. But, the reality is that I needed to provide for our family too and as hard as it was to be away from Isaac for the first little while, you do adjust. I worried that I would be constantly thinking about him and would not be fully present in my teaching. I'm still navigating the world of being a working mom, but I feel much more comfortable in my roles and I am loving being back to work. And, Isaac is doing so well with the childcare provider. Hooray!

12. You will set new lower standards for cleanliness of yourself and your home. That's okay. Your baby doesn't care about when the last time you showered was. And, time spent nurturing your child is better than time spent dusting and vacuuming.

13. You will see other mothers who look like they have it all together. They look alert, and awake, and clean, their hair looks perfect, they rapidly lost their baby weight, they have a diaper bag packed with every possible thing they might need in case of emergency, and their kids are well behaved every time to boot. Maybe, just maybe, they do have it all together. And perhaps their little one came with an easy temperament. It's also quite likely that they were going bonkers getting out the door in one piece that day and that if they really are striving for perfection, they will never be satisfied as perfection can never be attained. It is best to be thankful for what you have and not desire what those other mothers seemingly have.

14. Time goes by so fast! I really did underestimate how fast my year off would go by. Each time, Isaac masters a new skill, we say "Before long, he'll be asking to borrow the car keys." It's true, time goes by faster for parents. Cherish them while they are small.

15. It is normal to feel a little bit down after the birth of your child and even to question if you love them enough. Post-partum hormones mess with you in many ways. And there is healing to be done physically and emotionally after the birth of a child. Again, make sure you have someone you can talk to and know that the love will come overwhelmingly so once you get to know your child and yourself as a new mom.

There is so much more that I could say. But, for now I'll just keep on loving my baby big and let you figure out the rest for you. If you're a new mom or mom to be, get ready for an amazing new phase of life. Yes, having a new baby is a lot of work, it can be stressful at times. But, it is so worth it. Those little coos and smiles make all the sleepless night worth it.

Cute little Lion with his Lambchops which he loves!

Sitting like a big boy in his little chair - admiring the sound of Velcro on his shoes

A budding chef. His new favourite "toy." He carries it with him everywhere!

Dear: Sweet Isaac,
I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have the chance to raise you. I love you so much I can hardly believe it! Before I know it, you'll be a man out on your own and making your beautiful mark on the world. But, for now I am soaking up the naps you sometimes take on my chest and the sweet smiles and giggles I get out of you just by making some silly sound. You take a bottle pretty regularly now and you always have your hand in my hair while drinking it. Keep it up hon, cause I am loving it!Right now, you're pretty sweet and innocent and I know that you will have to grow up and I won't always be there to hold your hand. I know that our perspectives won't always align, but I'm okay with it, because you are your own person. I hope that we can always share and trust in each other. We all see things differently, but our hearts are oh so similar. As you grow, you'll discover that the world wants to define how you should be and how you should act. You are a child of God, our incredible Heavenly Father, who loves you unconditionally. And, each person you meet, is loved by Him too, so be kind to them and see them through His eyes. If you do you will be making room for some of the most beautiful relationships that will bless your life. Being your Momma is such a privilege. I love you sweetie! Never forget that.
xoxo,
Mommy

Standing in the need of prayer

We use them all the time. Those three words - "How are you?"

But rarely are we asking how are you really feeling? How is your soul today?

How often do we get asked "How are you?" in one day?
And how often do we give the generic "I'm good. And you?" response? Because, if people only knew what was going on behind our words, maybe they would stop asking "How are you?"

I want to be honest here. Because, I want those who read this blog not to see me as a person with it all together. Trust me, I do not have it all together. I have a lot to figure out. I am a person who is wounded and broken, and not willing to wait on God's will most of the time, and I put on the apathetic smile all the time, and I am impatient, and I get out of sorts when there is not order, I say words that cut and blame it on hormones when I have only myself to blame, I compare myself to others, and my sin-bio is desperately long. And, I need God like I need bread because His grace is sufficient to heal these ailments.

So, I've started to really listen to people when I ask them "How are you?" I listen not just for their voice, but for God's voice underneath their voice. Even if they respond with the generic "Good. And you?" I want to be a soul friend and know the condition of their heart. And, I want you to do the same for me. So, when I ask "How are you?" I am listening to you with an ear towards you and with the other ear towards Heaven. And, if you really are doing good, I will know. But, if you need prayer, the Spirit will intercede and tell me what it is that needs prayed for. And, I will do my best to pray for your brokenness too. And, if you do tell me your struggles and challenges, that's the Spirit telling you that I will listen, that I will not interrupt, and I will not judge. That's the Spirit telling you that your words are safe with me. You can open up.

I will
just
listen.

You see, God never asks us to be strong. Which I love - but this culture does not. In this culture you have to look strong and not show emotion.

Actually, God says the opposite often. He says it is better to be meek and mild and show weakness. For, He says His power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore we should boast our weaknesses and not our strengths (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ Isaiah 40:28-31

When we feel like we don't have it together, when we are tired of waiting. When we feel downtrodden and broken, and know we are not perfect, God wants to see our real face, not our apathetic face. He would rather us not worship Him at all than be apathetic in our worship. He would rather us be angry with Him than put on a facade. And, I'm glad God understands when we are angry with Him, or whomever. I'm glad that anger and worship are not distinct and separate things. If you are pretending to enjoy God or even love Him, he knows. You can't fool Him, you can't even try. He is someone you can be real with. He knows your prayers before you say them, He knows your prayers even when you do not. I am thankful that He is someone you can be real with. So, I'm praying that God will use me to be a soul friend and show me what you stand in need of so that I may intercede in prayer for you. And, I'm asking God to make me fully present when you answer that question: "How are you?" And, I pray you'll do so too.

Questions for reflection:

Why is it sometimes difficult to be 'real' in each of our daily interactions? 

How will God meet you in some of the people you interact with? How might others meet God in their interactions with you?

As the old hymn says: "Not my brother or my sister, but it's me O Lord. Standing in the need of prayer." Reflect on what you stand in need of. How might you bring these needs up when asked "How are you?"?

The One Thousand Gifts Dare - What's been making me terribly happy lately:

23. Hot oatmeal to stick to your ribs and warm your core on a howling-wind morning.
24. Celebrating four incredible years as husband and wife.
25. Making baby food. Isaac is starting on solids. So far I've made and frozen some pureed sweet potato, butternut squash, acorn squash, pear, avocado, and chicken mixed with sweet potato. And, so far he's tried the squash and nibbled (gummed) on some al dente finger carrots and apple. Apparently he will eat whatever we put in front of him. It is too funny to watch him explore new tastes and textures.
26. Big belly laughs from Isaac when he hears me say "ha ha ha CHOO." or "peek peek peek HABOO."
27. Tiny fingers that have the strongest hold. I will never get tired of the automatic grip reflex that babies have. Can I somehow teach him not to let his clinging fingers fade away?
28. Women of faith and studying 12 Women of The Bible, plus partaking in coffee with these women. Each woman in our Bible study offers insights and perspectives that feed my mind and spirit. Plus there is always goodies to feed the body too.
29. PB and J. I shared a children's message at church recently about how you can't make the sandwich without the bread. Just like we can't live without Jesus in our lives. And Jesus called Himself the Bread of Life. Now, whenever I make a PB and J sandwich in this time of lent, it reminds me that Jesus is the bread of life. His love is enough.
30. This cute recipe for Chocolate Egg Nest Cookies.
31. My Heavenly Father and His Son, my Saviour. Praise His name forever!
32. Old camp tunes. Back in the good ole days when I worked at summer camp we sang songs like "Little is Much (When He Lives in Your Heart)" and "I Want to Walk Like Jesus." I've been looking for new songs to sing with Isaac as the grown up in me grows tired of some of the same old tunes all the time. And, I've been reacquainted with some great ones from my camp days.
33. Back rolls, knee rolls, elbow rolls. My little guy, Isaac, has rolls on his rolls. I love his baby chub.
34. This picture makes me smile every time.

Just a wee bit Irish! (His shirt says "Little Shamrocker" ~ How cute is that?)

If I Could Keep you Little

Dear Isaac;

I can feel your breath on my skin, your head nestled in the bend of my elbow, and your cute bum tucked in my right hand. Your legs, all cozy in your blue and white striped footy PJ's, and they're draped over my lap. When did you ever get so big? Slow down a bit, pretty please. ~ xxoo Mommy

.....

Some of you will think this is crazy and some of you will find this normal. But, I was parted from him for the first time the other day. It felt so strange to be more than 100 feet away from him when he has gone everywhere I have gone in the last 4 months. I felt this tug to get back as soon as I could. Fearing that he needed me or would have separation anxiety. It's nice to feel needed. Meanwhile, I knew that he was surrounded by love. I whizzed through my errands as fast as I could. For, I was the one with separation anxiety. And he was once within me, my flesh and blood. And, since entering this crazy broken world, the distance between us has never been more than half a football field away. I recalled reading about a Mbuti Pygmy tribe and their custom for mother and newborn. It is not until the third day after the birth of her child that mother and babe leave their womb shaped leaf hut. During those three days she rocks and sings to her baby as she did while he was still in her womb. She might sit close to the doorway so he can slowly adjust to the bright light of his new world. And, I think on the adjustment it was for me to move him to his own room. And, I wonder how we will handle it when I go back to work, or when he steps on the school bus for the first time, when he gets his drivers license, and when he goes off to university. I know all of these experiences will be hard, but as he grows, he is going to need to find his own way. He can know, though, that his parents will always be there for him. We will never be far away.

.....

It's a tumultuous world we live in where the weakest don't have a voice and the hunger for wealth seems to trump all else. And, this new mama is trying hard not to worry but to trust and to be content in every circumstance. How now do I live for God when I'm now living for my son and family? I think on the story of the Isaac of the Bible. Isaac was the promised son to Abraham and Sarah in their old age. His name means laughter. God commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. And, Abraham, trusted so much in the Lord that he was about to give Isaac as a sacrifice knowing that God would really never ask that of him. And right at the last moment, a ram was provided to take Isaac's place as the sacrifice. And I'm sure I couldn't do what Abraham did, especially if I had a hard time leaving him for 15 minutes. I would tell God "No, sorry God, but I don't have the strength to. I would give anything, everything I own, my air, but not that." And, in doing so, I'd be saying "God, You're not worth it. You are not number one in my life. My family takes priority over you."

.....

I want to make my God the first priority in my life. But, now that I'm a mama I can see God falling by the wayside. Instead of saying "It's all about Him" now, I find myself saying "It's all about the other him in my life, my son." I have two lights of my life and I struggle to give priority to the great I Am. And, the God who knows my inmost, knows me by name, knows the number of hairs on my head, has slipped even farther down the priority list. How do I reverse this? How do I pay special attention to following Christ while being a mother? So,I  pray for my son just as much as I do for myself. That I may love You, God, first and then my family. Because, that way I can only love them more. Because God is love and you cannot experience the fullness of love if you have not loved God. I pray that all my actions and words no matter how menial may be a reflection of that love. That in the grunge and grime of every day I may be thankful because my family is clothed and fed and warm and sheltered and loved. That even the most mundane of tasks can be done with my heart trained on God.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:11 

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men." Colossians 3:23

And, that revelation gets me through. I know that loving God first is a powerful witness to not only my son, but to those around me.

.....

And, when I can't be by my son's side, I pray that You, God, may wrap your loving arms around him, that he may have the peace of Christ with him and come to know the love of his Heavenly Father. That he may feel grounded in faith that it brings him home even when he is not home. And, this is my prayer for all children. That they may feel surrounded by love, a love that takes them home, even if they don't have a home.

.....

Yes, Jesus "Wubs" Me and We "Wubs" him too!

Isaac 3 1/2 months - hanging out with Dad at lunch time

Isaac 3 1/2 months - does not usually like tummy time but is getting there!

This book really spoke to my heart. "If I could keep you little I'd keep you close to me, but then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be."

Just when I think that I'm getting my groove thang down - I learn something new. Some of the best advice I've received - Babies change so fast, so hold on to them a little longer and forget about your messy house!

Best Year

The beauty of Spring buds and blooms remind us of God's grace

We see the miracle of life

Exciting news for our family! We expected our first child

We took a break from Winter and went to Roatan

The beautiful resort

Tim tries out zip-lining

Spending time in devotions

We set up a nursary

Lifting Holy Hands to praise and worship our God

All Ontario Youth Convention and the Brett Younker Band

We get new wheels

Spring and 25 weeks!

Good Times with Good Friends

Our Friends - Joanne and Robby get married

Beautiful days on the Farm

My garden growing well despite the lack of rain

My Bestie and I at a Wedding

Lovely June day. After a dry period, we get some rain.

Amazing June sunrises remind us of God's mercies new every morning

Weekend Camping in Berkeley - All 19 adults and 15 kids (+2 on the way)

Tim turns 30

We do some exploring by kayak

Garden Blessings

Feeling little kicks at 38 weeks pregnant

My girlfriends out for a weekend getaway to Niagara Falls

These ladies always have a blast together

Good times in Summer - walking in Stratford and going to see many plays

Attending to the coming one - Taken on the baby's due date

We welcome our first child

We welcome our son, born at home, Sept. 23rd

Sweet moments captured when Isaac was just new

Life is so precious

Matron of Honour for my Bestie, Jamie's, wedding. Isaac is 2 weeks old.

Heather Dietz Photography captured tender moments with Isaac at 2 weeks

Our beautiful baby boy, Isaac, at 2 weeks old. Heather Dietz Photography

Sweet cuddles, Heather Dietz Photography

Tim becomes a father - and a very good one! We enjoy having him in for breakfast every day!

Late nights with my little man

My amazing girlfriends know how to put together a baby shower! Isaac is blessed to have such loving people in his life

Isaac's baptism day

Baby's first Christmas!

 What an incredible year it has been. God has blessed us in so many ways. We can't wait to see what 2013 has in store. God is good - all the time.

Glory to God in the highest. Luke 2:14